Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category

Happy 2010! Last year was a year of laying the foundation for our movement of transforming work and life so everyone can be their best. I learned a lot about myself last year and this year promises to stretch me even further. I’m super excited about that!

I have been wondering about you and your intentions for 2010, specifically how you’ll anchor in more deeply to being your best. Last year a client told me she had selected a word of the year to guide her throughout the year. She got the idea from Christine Kane (www.christinekane.com). Today I read a blog by Chris Brogan who chooses 3 words each year. Read his blog here: http://www.chrisbrogan.com/my-3-words-for-2010/#comment-27738450.

Last year my word was recriprocal, and it served me very well. When I began thinking about my word for 2010, I decided to let go of trying to figure it out and just trust God for my word. The strangest thing happened. I had a dream and the word, enamor, came to me in my sleep – someone said this is your gift – enamor. I can’t remember the details, but when I woke up, the word was firmly in my mind.

Now, mind you, I have vivid, sometimes strange dreams, and I have never had a dream where a word was given to me. And, as I get older, I find that my memory fails me when I try to remember certain words, but I easily recall this word throughout the day.  Also, not surprisingly, enamor is not part of my normal conversations. 

So, although I don’t know if I will add more words to my word of the year, I am definitely keeping enamor. I look forward to playing with my word of the year, peeling it back like an onion, to help me be my best and help others do the same.

What do you think about choosing a word or words for 2010? Take a look at Christine’s video on her blog and/or read Chris Brogan’s blog post and see if choosing a word(s) is something you might want to participate in this year. And be sure to let me know. I’m planning to write about my word at least monthly if not more often throughout the year. I’d love to support you in your word choice.

Many blessings to you and those you love in 2010! May you feel love in a big way (enamor)…

What would Christmas be without Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer?  The original story was created in 1939 by Robert May an employee of Montgomery Ward. May is said to have created the story based on his own childhood where he was taunted for being shy and small.

In the tv special, Rudolph wasn’t allowed to play in the reindeer games because of his bright, shiny, red nose. It seemed that everywhere he looked, he just didn’t fit in. He and Hermie, the elf who wanted to be a dentist, didn’t fit in either and so they head out on their own. In one of their songs, they sing, “Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit … seems I don’t fit in.”

Boy oh boy, have I been in situations like Rudolph and Hermie. At times I felt like I was on the island of misfit toys. I knew I wasn’t a nitwit and neither were those other folks; it just wasn’t a good fit. That’s when I decided to be the leader of me and find/create a tribe that fits me. With a wonderful community of support, I charted my own course. If others want to laugh and tease me, so be it.

Seth Godin, in his book, Tribes, says what Karen & I have been saying all along – that everyone is a leader and we need you to lead – yourself first. I feel very strongly that when you determine what you want, you’ll be in a much better position to help others get what they want, and then you’ll create something extraordinary together as leaders.

Maybe you’ve been excluded from the proverbial “reindeer games,” or felt like you don’t fit in, or have encountered some monsters on your path. If you choose to, you can return back to your brilliant essence, shine brightly, and lead – with noses of all different colors, shapes and sizes. With a community cheering you on and supporting you, there’s no telling what you’ll accomplish – in your business, your organization,  your home, your school … everywhere!

What is compromise? The definition of compromise is “something accepted rather than wanted because what was wanted is unattainable.” Really? What you want is unattainable?

A couple of weeks ago my husband, Jeff, and I were trying to coordinate our schedules to take time off to visit his parents at the beach. I was going on a business trip, and my husband wanted to go before my trip. I wanted to go after my trip because I had a lot to do before I left. Also, this trip involved another time zone and a packed schedule. Ah – the impasse!

Ordinarily I might have “compromised” because I didn’t think I could get what I wanted, and because I have been a pleaser and conflict avoider for a long time. But I decided to try not compromising in hopes that we could both get what we want or something better. Impossible you say? Read on…

No Compromising - Keep Working!

Jeff & I took some time to think about and discuss alternative solutions, and we came up with something even better than we imagined. Not compromising gave Jeff: one-on-one time with his parents at the beach, 2 short work weeks instead of 1 (he has had very little vacation time this summer), and time to rest. Not compromising gave me: time before my business trip to get organized, a few days with my niece while Jeff was at the beach, and a beach trip filled with fun and rest after I returned from my business trip. Both of us got a lot more than what we originally wanted.

So, what does compromise entail? Someone wins, someone loses, or both parties lose. It seems that many times we see compromise as the easy way out, but it’s really not. The one who gives in usually feels frustrated, hurt, even powerless. Feeling this way can cause hard feelings for a long time. I believe it is essential to keep working, keep talking, and know that we are smart enough to find a solution that works for both parties.

What causes you to give in, even when you feel strongly about something? Do you truly believe you cannot have what you want? This way of thinking is too focused on “or,” meaning either I get what I want you or you get what you want. Look for the “and,” meaning you get what you want and I get what I want … or something even better than we imagined.