Archive for the ‘development’ Category
Can You Really Be Anything You Want? Lessons from the Stockdale Paradox…

U.S. Vice Admiral James Bond Stockdale
I cleaned out my office today & ran across an index card with the Stockdale Paradox on it. In case you’re not familiar with the Stockdale Paradox, Jim Collins describes it in his book, “Good to Great” as:
“Retain the faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties AND confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be.”
I highly recommend reading about Jim Stockdale in this wiki to learn more about his experience as a Vietnam POW & how he was able to survive when many others didn’t: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Stockdale.
Surviving a POW camp is in no way comparable to conducting a job search or developing your career, but there are important lessons we can learn from Jim Stockdale’s experience.
Got Faith?
Stockdale said he never doubted he would prevail and turn this horrific experience into a defining event in his life. He never lost faith.
I think about a time when I was in a job that felt like a prison to me. I felt victimized, like I had no choices. But that wasn’t true. I did have choices. I hired a coach and started working on a plan to not just get me out of there but to really envision a future for myself. I read somewhere that faith is passionate trust. I trusted myself to know what I really wanted, and I trusted God to show me the way.
The Brutal Facts
Stockdale says we must have the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of our current reality. There are two important points here – defining reality and discipline.
What is reality? I heard someone say, “If the dream is big enough, the facts don’t count.” Well, just like Stockdale, I believe the facts DO count.
There are certain facts about you that should be a factor in your career development. This is the brutal reality of YOU – the brilliant you, and it’s important that you know what it is and can sufficiently describe it to others.
And then there’s the other side of reality such as the people who show up on American Idol who can’t carry a tune and can’t understand why they aren’t chosen. Or the person who doesn’t want to learn anything new and thinks they can coast to retirement. Or the person who knows their performance has been lagging but thinks people won’t notice. This is our blind spot, and it is essential to make that spot as small as possible.
After you have a good idea of your reality, it’s time for discipline. Discipline might conjure up some images as being grounded or a drill sergeant commanding you to take 100 pushups in the freezing rain, but consider another definition of discipline: “self-control, training for improvement, and a systematic method.” It seems to me that discipline is at the heart of leadership, so when it comes to determining our careers, it is essential to have a system in place to help us reach our dreams (strategies, intentions, goals). I hired a coach, increased my knowledge, and put a system in place to be more accountable so that I could expand my choices.
So, CAN be anything you want? Maybe! Use these tips to guide you in deciding what you really, really want:
- Take a look at the brutal reality of you. Who are you, and what are your strengths (skills, knowledge, abilities)? What is important to you? What would make you want to go work every day full of energy and passion?
- Have the discipline to do what it takes to get you what you want. Invest in yourself by hiring a coach, going back to school, updating your resume, networking, etc. Stop doing those things that are getting in the way of what you want.
- Have faith that you will prevail despite difficult circumstances.
- Allow yourself to be surprised. Don’t wrap up your life so tightly that you miss some amazing detours off your path.
Do you have something else to add to this discussion? If so, I’d love to hear from you!
Left out of Reindeer Games, Hanging out on the Isle of Misfit Toys, Monsters in Your Way?
What would Christmas be without Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer? The original story was created in 1939 by Robert May an employee of Montgomery Ward. May is said to have created the story based on his own childhood where he was taunted for being shy and small. 
In the tv special, Rudolph wasn’t allowed to play in the reindeer games because of his bright, shiny, red nose. It seemed that everywhere he looked, he just didn’t fit in. He and Hermie, the elf who wanted to be a dentist, didn’t fit in either and so they head out on their own. In one of their songs, they sing, “Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit … seems I don’t fit in.”
Boy oh boy, have I been in situations like Rudolph and Hermie. At times I felt like I was on the island of misfit toys. I knew I wasn’t a nitwit and neither were those other folks; it just wasn’t a good fit. That’s when I decided to be the leader of me and find/create a tribe that fits me. With a wonderful community of support, I charted my own course. If others want to laugh and tease me, so be it.
Seth Godin, in his book, Tribes, says what Karen & I have been saying all along – that everyone is a leader and we need you to lead – yourself first. I feel very strongly that when you determine what you want, you’ll be in a much better position to help others get what they want, and then you’ll create something extraordinary together as leaders.
Maybe you’ve been excluded from the proverbial “reindeer games,” or felt like you don’t fit in, or have encountered some monsters on your path. If you choose to, you can return back to your brilliant essence, shine brightly, and lead – with noses of all different colors, shapes and sizes. With a community cheering you on and supporting you, there’s no telling what you’ll accomplish – in your business, your organization, your home, your school … everywhere!
Here’s to the Crazy Ones!
I found this on the internet and thought it was perfect for how I would describe the IAM Learning Community (www.iamlearningcommunity.com), a social network I am creating along with other people who want to transform our careers & lives.
It’s a quote by Jack Kerouac in an Apple Computer ad, 1997.
Here’s to the Crazy Ones
Here’s to the crazy ones.
The misfits. The rebels.
The troublemakers. The round
pegs in the square holes – the
ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules and
they have no respect for
the status quo. You can praise
them, disagree with them,
quote them, disbelieve them,
glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing that you
can’t do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
Cheers to us! Cheers to you! … All the crazy ones who are tired of the status quo!