I recently read an article written by President Obama, and he mentioned that he was so impressed with his daughter’s poise while they have been in the White House. Many writers also point to President Obama’s poise. In fact, when I Googled Obama and poise, there were over 162,000 records. This article is not about the Obamas; I tend to stay as far away from politics as I can. This is just an example. Another example is from my local newspaper as the writer speculated that a college baseball team went to the semi-finals and lost their poise, although they had extraordinary talent and team spirit.

So I became curious. What does poise mean in the business world? Why do you need it? How do you get more poise?

First of all what is poise? Some definitions of poise: self-confident manner, composure, steadiness, stability, state of balance or equilibrium, grace, refinement, and lastly, a product used for bladder problems. I’ll stay away from the bladder issues for now.

Why do we need poise?

Based on the definitions above, I believe that having poise is essential for any leader (and most of us are leaders in some way). Who wants to follow someone who is unstable, ineffective, or incompetent? Poise isn’t just for people in the public eye, speakers, or executives. We all can use poise in every aspect of our lives as we interact with others. The poise I’m talking about is being your best. You aren’t worried about pleasing everyone or controlling anyone. When you have poise, you stop wrangling with yourself and find ease in any situation.

How do you gain more poise?

Focus on others. How can you serve, educate, validate others? I remember losing my poise one day during a talk. I became very nervous and could not collect my thoughts. The problem is I was focused on me. What did they think of me? Did I sounds competent? Upon reflection, I realized I could have regained my poise by focusing on the audience and what I might offer that would be of help or encouragement to them. When we focus on ourselves, many times we are intensely critical and perfectionistic. Most people really do want you to do well!

Focus on an object, mantra, a word or your breath. Think of something physical, emotional, or spiritual that will help you to stay focused: a rock, a card with a mantra or verse on it, an image on your desk, and so on. Make it real and personal for you – something that is inspiring, affirming, and motivating.

Listen with curiosity and interest. You may have heard the saying, “You have one mouth and two ears, so listen twice as much as you think.” This is hard for some people, but I can assure you that you will have fewer fences to mend if you monitor what you say. You are not required by anyone to give an immediate answer (except perhaps in boot camp). Seek to understand. Test your assumptions.

Put content into “buckets.” You may get into a situation where you are called on to give a quick answer and don’t have a lot of time to rehearse your response. It is important that you respond (not react). Take a breath, focus, and make a list (in your head or on paper) of 3-5 points of what you want to get across. Then speak slowly and clearly and ask questions to ensure the message has been delivered accurately.

Listen to your body. If you get into a tense situation, think about how it feels in your body. When you start to feel that tightening or sickening feeling, pay attention. Then, ask yourself what is really going on. Is there a boundary being crossed? Do you really want to be in this situation? Your body is giving you esssential information about what is important to you.

If you have other ideas for bringing more poise into leadership, I’d love to hear from you.

Happy Monday!

~Diane